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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist

Best Breakup Solution in NYC

So, to add a nicely depressing pre-Valentine's day topic to the board (and to follow up on my more cheerful First Date post) - what's the best NYC spot/activity to do to get over a breakup? For me, I imagine a trip to the Tasti-D-Lite store, followed by some impassioned cycling down the West Side Highway to Chelsea Piers, a bout of bag-punching, and watching some miserable, bleak Scandinavian film about the impossiblity of love at the Angelika might just do it. And maybe some weepy jazz/cabaret at Birdland...
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
Hopefully not in the week before V-day! But thanks, @Uraniumfish. Let's hope we never need to go there. Though the Brandy Library sounds quite cool.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
Is there a TimeOut list for every possible NYC scenario?

All of my breakups were done via phone call. Is that so wrong? But I think that if I were going to select a scenic New York spot to rid myself of a boy, the bleakest place I can think of is the JMZ stop at Bowery. For some reason there is no place to sit down there, and the escalator makes a disturbing clunking noise and never seems to stop running.

F. Scott Fitzgerald's Valley of Ashes - the former Corona Dump in Queens and the current Flushing Meadows Corona Park, which is not the most well-maintained - might be another good place, but it's out there. Fitzgerald likened the place to T.S. Eliot's wasteland.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
I would vote for practically any station on the G train. There's nothing like the bleakness of waiting for a train more than an hour to really get you thinking about the faults of the person next to you...
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish I've been living off the G train for about a year now, and though I've heard all complaints on the subject, I've only ever had to wait for it for any length of time just once. I think it's probably more luck than anything, but just saying....
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@BroadwayBK This mornings Metro newspaper had some information about weekend closures on the G and F lines in Brooklyn starting the weekend of Feb 20-22.
http://www.transitblogger.com/transit-news/f-g-riders-to-lose-access-to-a-key-station.php
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
Well, I suppose that's a different sort of weekend closure than what we were originally thinking of, but it could work all the same!
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@BroadwayBK Wow, really? When I was looking for apartments in Brooklyn, I purposely avoided any that were dependent on the G-train. Maybe it's gotten better in the time since I lived near that line, but at the time the waits were interminable...
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
I really haven't broken up with anyone in years, so I don't even know where I would go if I were to take the big step. I guess I would just call and say so long, and give a reason for doing so. That is if I were going to break up with my girl. But that is not likely any time soon.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@Broadway Bk I too have used the phone breakup route find it much easier than a face to face confrontation.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Doesn't it break some sort of holy dating rule to break up with someone over the phone?
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@uraniumfish does it? but then I never did read 'The Rules' . Do remember how popular that book was some years ago.. can't believe they actually have a website.. have a look-
http://www.therulesbook.com/
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@uraniumfish and check out the consult charges!!
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Oh, goodness, uptowngirl. I had to laugh out loud at that website. The consultation fees! Imagine paying someone $350 an hour to essentially be your BFF and analyze your boyfriend problems! Of course Joan Rivers would be in on this kind of thing. She probably advises the the advisors behind the scenes. The site is truly, truly precious.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@uraniumfish thought so myself :) have bookmarked it for some more fun reading ..
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
I have never been dumped ***knocks on wood*** but I don't think I would appreciate some guy dumping me over the phone. I know it's wrong, but.... what can I say? Everybody's a hypocrite. This last guy wasn't my boyfriend, we were just dating for a while, and I stepped even lower by breaking things off over G talk.

None of these guys deserved a sit-down, if you know what I mean. But let's say I was the one who was being a jerk, then what is the proper way to break up? Do I have to pay $350 to find out?
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
Oh, and @Uraniumfish on the subject of the G train - I always tell people that I don't think it's so bad, only to be brutally rebuffed. But that's just been my experience.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@BroadwayBK What is "G talk"?
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
Google Talk - it's an instant messenger from Gmail/Google http://www.google.com/talk/
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
I'm not really a follower of rules. I never did unless the rules were a convenience to me in some way. To me rules are meant to be broken. When I make decisions, I do so based on my own evaluation of things. If I think doing something will not only benefit myself but others, I'll do it, even if the decision makes someone else uncomfortable. I was always told you can't please everyone so I just try to please myself and those closet to me.
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
Well, everyone has opinions. That doesn't always mean they are right, or right for you. The best way to live is go by what you were brought up to believe. If you were trained to act a certain way, then be true to yourself and do it. Don't worry about what others say.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@ajadedidealist The Rules encourages women to be creatures "unlike any other"? It all kind of sounds hilarious.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@ajadeidealist @BroadwayBK Oh, dear: "creature unlike any other", hunh?

@BroadwayBK Aaaaaaaaa! You broke up with someone on instant messaging? Terrible of you! Must have really not been a very special "creature"
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@girls don't you think its weird that one of the creators of the so called Rules had her marriage collapse on her.. you can't really generalize dating advice.. its so subjective .. can't believe that people actually pay them for private consultations!
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
I think the only dating advice anyone needs is to be confident in themselves, and be open to the experience. If it doesn't work, it doesn't.

I mean, there are definitely women who need advice on how not to be creepy and leave a weird first impression, but this definitely goes for men as well. I've met so many guys who just refuse to take a hint or act like complete jerks when I'm not interested.

Maybe we should write a book for them...
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Sounds like some people don't need a book to read so much as a smack of sense...
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
Well. It takes all kinds.

@Uraniumfish And on the subject of g talk, that guy deserved it.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
Well said @BroadwayBK and @Uraniumfish
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@BroadwayBK and @Uraniunfish - The problem with many men is their ego. They don't want to hear the word no. They want to score so they have something great to say to their buddies the next day.
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JenMac
JenMac 2yrs+
Oh my, I'd so rather be broken up with on the phone. I would be pissed if someone made me get up and go meet them just to tell me they didn't want to see me anymore. Like, uh, I got dressed for this?
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@JenMac I actually agree and can't imagine coordinating a breakup date. But maybe it's the best thing to do if that's what the person you're with would appreciate?

I have to say that Uraniumfish picked the best place with the G train stop - I mean, how could you make the most hated train in the city any worse?
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DBlack
DBlack 2yrs+
Waiting on line anywhere would be a pretty awful place to break up.

How about the main reading room at the New York Public Library, since you'd have to whisper...

Or in a cab with the meter running. Just start a full-on fight...

Alternately, at a five-star restaurant if you're paying for the meal and have a romantic idea go terribly wrong.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@JenMac I once had a guy arrange a meeting with me for the purposes of breaking up even though we never dated. He had been paying a lot of attention to me, sending emails, calls. He was working abroad and was rarely in the city, so whenever he got in touch while here I was happy to correspond, etc, because we had many friends in common. Anyways, although I had an intuition that he might like me, of course, but I wasn't even sure about it. One day he called to ask could we meet for a drink. During which I had to hear a long rationale about why he thought it wouldn't be appropriate for us to date! I thought, You stupid idiot! I was going to do my taxes tonight!
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
How very strange, @uraniumfish. If a little hilarious - some guys certainly have egos that are too big for them!
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DBlack
DBlack 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish Hahaha...I hope you found a way to revenge yourself on that guy, uraniumfish.
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JenMac
JenMac 2yrs+
uraniumfish: that is amazing. Delusional people are just so great to have around to remind yourself that it can always be worse! I love the ole breakup when we weren't even dating trick.
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish I actually had a similar situation - only I was rejected by someone I wasn't interested in. This guy - who is actually my neighbor and a friend of friends - was paying a lot of attention to me, calling/texting, inviting me over to watch movies and eat dinner all the time, and I hung out with him a lot, thinking we were just friends. It must be noted here that this guy is incredibly unattractive. So, I find out later from a mutual friend that he was telling everyone how I was inviting myself over all the time, and that I obviously had a thing for him.... so creepy!
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
Has anyone ever met a woman whose ego was so enormous that she was delusional or is this strictly a male trait?
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@NeverSleeps I had a female friend who was such a monster manipulator that I really really felt sorry for the guy she was dating. They're still dating, actually. He's 26 and she's over 40. She's the kind of woman who, when she throws parties, instead of letting everyone kind of chat amongst themselves, has to choreograph the entire event from start to finish. So she's the object of attention at all times. Oh, yeah, I'm willing to bet there are some delusional women around too.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@DBlack, Everybody I was so annoyed with this guy that I did tell him I had been happily dating someone during the entire time he was paying so much attention. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I believe he did take a visible gulp and quiet down quite a bit after that. I left soon after and wasn't especially interested in his reaction anyway.
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
Maybe people in general are awful, @uraniumfish. Or am I a cynic? On another note - I enjoy your posts, @uraniumfish, but don't post any more! You're on 1111 posts - and that's too cool a number to mess with! Congratulations on getting to such an enormous and nicely palindromic number.
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@NeverSleeps: I've met some women who had egos so high I had to climb to the top of the Empire State Building to reach the top of it. So yes, there are women with big egos as well. They are spoiled brats, if you ask me.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@NeverSleeps I'd say that the overinflated ego is just a problem that humans sometimes have, whether male or female. For some reason in our culture men stereotypically are supposed to have the greater ego, but I'm not so sure this is true.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish @ajadedidelist I don't know; something about the number 1111 is ominous. Post something else, quick!
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish in terms of the game of Cricket '111' is known as Nelson's after admiral Nelson who had one eye, one arm and one leg at the end of his life.. this number is consider unlucky because it is said to resemble the three wickets without bails which basically translates as you are 'out' - a goner...so post something quickly will you?:)
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JenMac
JenMac 2yrs+
I feel like when women are delusional about a man's feelings - it is somehow kind of sad. When a man is delusional it tends to not be sad because he really just won't ever get it. It's laughable. . . in my opinion.
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
@uptowngirl @BroadwayBK I always think of this flight that crashed when I see that many 1's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swissair_Flight_111
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
@JenMac It may be sort of sad - but I think it is also sort of inevitable, just a part of the dating game which isn't always pretty.

Actually I think it's sad if someone is being led on by someone else, and therefore is wrongly convinced by what they think the other person is feeling.

If you are trying to convince other people that someone wants you but you don't want them, or if you are breaking up with someone that wasn't even aware they were dating you, you likely have some sort of major self esteem issues or are overcompensating for something, which can be annoying to others but is actually kind of sad too...
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@ajadeidealist, BroadwayBK, uptowngirl Hah! I like those kinds of numbers and always feel good luck when I land on them accidentally....
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
I've got 4 stars now...woo-hoo!
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
And it looks like you survived the number, so it's all good.
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
I love 1111! I make wishes at 11:11 and 11 seconds. November 11, 2011, will be a very special wish...
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish: Congratulations on reaching 4 stars. If you keep posting, you'll soon reach my number. :) Just kidding. Actually, from seeing your profile, you have a huge amount of reviews. You can rack of a lot of points that way. Keep going. You're doing good.

By the way, I am a part time numerologist, and if I add the four "1's" you had earlier, that number is 4. A 4 is a person who has natural genius. A 4 can be a great provider and is loyal and devoted to their cause and whatever they get involved in.
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
@ajadedidealist For some reason I didn't link that number with the time 11:11, but I've never been able to shake the habit of making a wish if I catch the clock on that time, either! Been doing it since I was a kid.
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
The funny thing is that nobody ever "told" me to make a wish - I just kind of figured it out...kids know these things deep down. It's like we all have a collective awareness of "magic"
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
Weird, I don't remember how I happened on that magical wishing moment, either.
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@Ajadedidealist and @NeverSleeps: You sound like you have the 3rd eye. You are intuitive aware of things around you even though you do not see it with the physical eye.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
I do my wishing at 11:11 too. Guess it's deep in the cortext somewhere to react to patterns.
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
The funny thing is that nobody ever "told" me to make a wish - I just kind of figured it out...kids know these things deep down. It's like we all have a collective awareness of "magic"
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
We should probably all become astrologers

http://www.astrostyle.com/Scopes/Other_Scopes/1111.htm
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
Astrology is like a science. It really is not hard to learn. I don't know a lot either. I'm actually a numerologist not an astrologer.
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