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JenMac
JenMac

New Yorker Article

Anyone read this?
http://nymag.com/news/features/65238/

A lot of my friends whom are still bottle waitresses are pretty upset about it. But, as a former bottle girl, myself, I have to say it's pretty spot on for most of the girls I know. Interesting world we live in . . .
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
wow.... wtf.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@JenMac Ditto here. This is one world I know almost nothing about, but having read the article, I'm kind of glad I know as little as possible...
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Basic
Basic 2yrs+
@JenMac - Ok.. this completely changes anything I ever thoguht that 'bottle service' ever was.. I mean, in my world, I always thought it was simply a way for clubs to charge a fortune to get a decent table.. by forcing you to buy a bottle of alcohol if you wanted a table.. This article makes it seem like something... more...
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JenMac
JenMac 2yrs+
Uh yeah. It's completely crazy. I know a lot of these girls and the article is pretty spot on. It's a really crazy life they live. I was a bottle waitress but never did any of that stuff so I was kind of an outsider. These girls make ridiculous money, get extravagant gifts and trips and never think about what is going to happy when they get too old to be able to do it anymore. It's pretty scary.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@JenMac wow! I had no idea this is what bottle service at NYC clubs is a front for!!!!
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
It's also pretty sad. I know a few girls who graduated from college and moved to such places as New York and Las Vegas...in order to perform bottle service. Granted, they'll probably pay back their student loans a lot faster than I can dream of, but what kind of a place are they going to be working at the age of 35?
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@BroadwayBk so true.....has a kind of pathetic ring to it..
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@uptowngirl Yeah...it seems pathetic to us but at the same time I can see how a young girl can find herself making all that money and being surrounded by a bunch of rich dudes and feeling good about it. The thing is that it doesn't seem to lead anywhere special.
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
Crazy, I was just about to post that article! It's such a seductive, yet tawdry world. Tempting when I think about the cost of my grad school tuition, and then far less tempting when I actually, you know, think...
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
I went to school in the city and can honestly say I never felt tempted to do any such thing, even when faced with my student loans...seriously, @BroadwayBK that kind of "career" really can't lead anywhere very special...
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
I suppose for plenty of girls, though, it's a way to pay off, say, grad school debt before embarking on an entirely UN-related career. If I were to be a bottle girl, I'd make loads of money, then retire early to work on the great Franco-Italo-American Novel. And, of course, my lurid bottling memoirs
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DBlack
DBlack 2yrs+
I recently found out that a friend, a woman in her early 40's who is a novelist and now head of a non-profit, used to be a stripper! Actually, her first novel was about that experience, so I guess it's one of those facts generally known about her, but I never read her first novel so had no idea! All I can say is, "Wow." I just would have never expected that to be part of her past, knowing her now.
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JenMac
JenMac 2yrs+
The girls don't really save their money, sadly. But, it is an awful lot of dough for only working 15 hours a week.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@JenMac All the more sad for them, then. Why else put themselves through the humiliation otherwise?
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish Unless it leads to getting a rich dude to divorce his wife and marry you in the Hamptons?
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
Ugh, I have a guy friend who is creepily OBSESSED with Thai women, wants to marry a Thai girl, spends all his vacation time in Thailand/learning Thai/etc - just to get a "nice Thai wife." He's a Connecticut WASP. It somehow rings a little creepy/fetishistic.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@uptowngirl That is...lame. My dad gets really angry when he sees stuff like that - he calls it "child molesting." A bit sarcastically, but not too far off the mark really. Something is off with a guy who is attracted to a really young girl, and vice versa.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish unfortunately all the men that I saw in Thailand were wrinkly, pot bellied, old geezers who were cavorting with these young women ...yuck
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Yeah, given a choice between looks and personality/smarts I've often picked the personality men. But I'm (sadly) trying to accept that a lot of men choose the opposite way.
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DBlack
DBlack 2yrs+
LOL! Great way to put it, JenMac.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@DBlack somehow that doesn't seem that offensive maybe because they are not that common..c'mon perhaps the most well known 'cougar' is the British actress Joan Collins other than her can't really think of many others can you?
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
@JenMac So that's when men stop acting like big babies? At 40?

@DBlack That's just as weird to me. I don't really like dating guys a few years younger than me - the maturity gap has always been too disheartening. I always think that Demi must have the intellect of a five-year-old to be married to Ashton Kutcher.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@JenMac, NeverSleeps Maybe the maturity gap gets to be less of a problem as you age and realize we're all just big babies, but wouldn't mind having some good looking, in-shape man in your bed...I'm not there yet myself, but I'm just sayin...
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@Urainumfish Well put! Although I must say that the last few jerks I dated were one and two years younger than me, respectively. I do think that the connection you can make with a much-younger guy is sort of limited, though. I don't think I will be 45 and dating a 25-year-old.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@DBlack very true...just look at the Donald Trumps, Rupert Murdochs of the world..apparently having a trophy wife makes them look and feel better..
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@Everybody: When my girlfriend and I go to amusement parks, she always remarks how we act like big babies, or have a little one trapped in our big bodies. Do you know what I mean? I considered her thoughts amusing.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@DBlack Agreed. Age gaps keep people apart on some level.

I think society promotes having a younger woman on your manly arm as a status symbol, and a woman having a younger guy on her arm just isn't promoted in the same way.
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ajadedidealist
ajadedidealist 2yrs+
Also I think that women are socialized to value traits in mates (success, elegance, maturity, intelligence, worldliness) that are less present in younger men, while men are socialized to value traits in THEIR mates (beauty, fertility, enthusiasm, zest for life) that are more commonly associated with younger women. So it's not JUST a status thing, I think,m
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@Ajadedidealist; Are you sure? I find your comments to be rather unique and fascinating. Can you embellish a bit more on your ideas. I would love to read them.
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@ajadedideailist youre spot on with your analysis..
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
@ajadeidealist And then we all end up looking for love in all the wrong places...
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
@ajadedidealist @Uraniumfish Agreed. If only we could all get over ourselves...
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Seriously, I'd love to have me a wife-man, who's all masculine but doesn't need to play the manly-man thing and be a hotshot out in the world. It's attractive in a guy, sure, but I don't really mind being the successful one and having someone to watch the babies.
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish I am in the market for just a nice, dorky guy that doesn't feel the need to prove something all the time. However, must be sort of ambitious. There's a fine line, I suppose. What happened with the date of your dreams, if you don't mind my asking?
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
It's hard to find a good man in this city; if you can find one here, you can find one anywhere...
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DBlack
DBlack 2yrs+
@NeverSleeps Shouldn't it be: "If you CAN'T find one here you can't find one anywhere."?
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BroadwayBK
BroadwayBK 2yrs+
@DBlack Wouldn't that imply that it's easy to find a guy in this city...? It isn't.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
I wouldn't look for one anywhere else! Give me a city boy over a suburbs/outskirts boy any day!
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hhusted
hhusted 2yrs+
@Uraniumfish: Why only city guys? Is it because you have that rugged edge and want a city guy who is also rugged? Or maybe tough is a better word for it? I'm not sure. what do city guys have that suburb guys don't have? Just wondering.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Da cutting edge. City boys have street smarts. In general, people who are fresh to the city are a little soft around the edges. But after being here awhile people get themselves together: they dress well, they figure out what they want, and then they really go for it, whatever that may be. Maybe city boys just have a passion, and that's pretty attractive.
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Uraniumfish
Uraniumfish 2yrs+
Are you threatening me?
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NeverSleeps
NeverSleeps 2yrs+
I think that the stereotype that city boys grow sharper in time has to come from somewhere. It's impossible to make it in this city without your wits about you, certainly.
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JenMac
JenMac 2yrs+
hhusted: But, you live in a city . . . . ipso facto: you're kinda proving uraniumfish's point, no?
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uptowngirl
uptowngirl 2yrs+
@NeverSleeps Totally agree with you.. being a resident of a big city definitely affects the way you dress, live and carry yourself and even more so when its NYC there is no question about that.
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DBlack
DBlack 2yrs+
@Everybody Well that clearly means that those of us who grew up here dress best and have the sharpest street smarts of all... heh heh I don't argue with that point of view at all.
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