NYC and Men - A Perfect Match

Haha. As a woman, I'm only mildly annoyed by this - why do men get to have all the fun?

@hhusted I couldnt find that survey on Amny but did post a link to the askmen survey on another one of my posts.. that survey found that NYC was the best city for men both in a professional and personal capacity.
here's the link again-http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100419/lf_nm_life/us_cities_men

Bah! Why did they only ask the men? What, no equivalent survey for the ladies?

@Uptowngirl: Here it is: http://www.amny.com/urbanite-1.812039/new-york-is-a-man-s-world-new-survey-says-1.1871580

@Ajadedidealist: I think women have fun as well, especially chasing away ugly or disgusting men. :) That was meant as a joke by the way.

@hhusted thanks they seem to be talking about the survey.

Haha. Afraid chasing away disgusting men gets old pretty quickly. ;-). But I do think life is harder for women than for men in NYC - the city is particularly amenable to stereotypically "male" characteristics - being a go-getter, working hard, competition, getting an "edge"

I agree, ajadedidealist. Why is it that if a woman has any of those attributes and, perhaps, likes to do a keg stand or two at a barbecue, she is considered "tough." :) It's such an ugly word for a woman and the connotation is not remotely besmirched for some young buck.

If NYC is such a great place for men to meet women, then why isn't it a great place for women to meet men....?

Maybe because the men are all greedy rats and they have 3 chicks at once behind the other ones' backs? I mean, hypothetically . . . .

Yeah, that survey seems to be a bad reflection on the men's characters in NYC

@JenMacWaaaaaait. Hold on, here. By that reasoning there should be 3 women to each guy statistically, and we know that isn't the case...Soooooo, it looks like the women all must each have three guys too...Only way all those pairings could happen, don't you think?

Hmmmm......well i guess i should have started my "Quest for a man" in New York. Lol! But it's okay i got my honey now!

@DBlack: Someone told me that NYC was a man's city. I don't know the truth in that. I really haven't taken the time to really research it. What do the rest of you think about that. Do you agree or disagree? Do you have any proof opposite to my statement? If so, please let me know.

@JenMac: Maybe what you said has merit. I know a friend of mine said he dated three women in the same week. But that is three separate women. So does your statement have merit. I don't know. What do you think?

well said @ajadedidealist and Jen Mac though I think the reason that NYC is so great for single men is that they are outnumbered by single women in this city. I remember reading this a while ago but can't find the stats to substantiate my argument though I did find a survey conducted by the website-singlemidedwomen.com which has its own survey of the top 10 cities in the US for single women and on that survey NYC came in third after Boston and Washington.

http://singlemindedwomen.com/money-tips/2010-top-10-cities-for-single-women/4/

@DBlack but aren't there supposed to be a lot more single women than men in the city?

Oh...yeah, what uptowngirl said.

Why haven't I tested out that acupuncture cure yet?!?!

And psshh of course this city is great for men. That's why it's so hard to find a guy who's not a jerk. Where are all the adorable, nice nerds?

Watch out for those nerds, Broadway. The minute they get any money, attention, notoriety, etc they will plow through every 20 year old that looks their way.

So...give up on men completely then?

Pity, @jenmac. I actually go for the nerdy guys...but should beware of the demon that lurks within! At least jocks have time to "grow out" of their jerkiness in HS and college, I suppose.

@BroadwayBK Boys who have strong-minded sisters, I've noticed, are pretty good relationship material. I think the sisters do some educating along the way...

@BroadwayBK Where are you meeting all these jerks, Broadway? I swear not all of us are all that bad...there's still a few good guys left in this city...

@Uraniumfish That's a fair observation, I think. I only wish there was some way to sift out these guys from the start...how do you ask a stranger if they grew up surrounded by any strong-minded women/girls?

@Uraniumfish that is a brilliant observation, I often tell my husband that he would understand women better if he had had a sister.. I truly believe that.

@NeverSleeps Bah, that kind of stuff usually comes out in the first conversation, doesn't it? When you're asking somebody the who-are-you and what-are-you-all-about questions...Anyways, my best relationships have been with those kinds of boys, so I think I might stick to that as one of the requirements from now on.

I have yet to meet a guy here who isn't severely messed up. Not one.

@JenMac In New York, you mean? They do seem pretty neurotic as a bunch...

I go to an all girls school, so it's either hunt or stay single. Not the best, but the education's worth it.

@uptown girl: Sometimes I think I'd understand men better if I had a brother, but then again, I don't think men even understand themselves. SATC definitely gave me false hopes!

@bellacaroline I went to an all girls school followed by an all girls college.. both men and women have issues I think .. though I do stand by my theory that men who have sisters do have a better understanding of women. it at least makes them more empathetic towards women as they picture how a certain scenario will affect their sisters..

@JenMac Um. Me too. I'm beginning to think it's me. What is it about me that these jerks love so much?

And I have to agree with bellacaroline that I might understand men better if I'd had a brother.... though most of the time I don't find them extraordinarily difficult to understand.

Yeah, I think sometimes I have more trouble believing just quite how painfully simple men are...

@BroadwayBK: You'll find a nerdy type right on 27th St on the East side.

@JenMac: You said "I have yet to meet a guy here who isn't severely messed up. Not one." Yes you have. You know one.

@Ajadedidealist: You seem to have trouble understanding men. Well, men have trouble understanding women. It works both ways.

@BroadwayBK @ajadedidealist Ha. Simple, indeed.

@NeverSleeps, @BoradwayBK, and @ajaqdedlidealist: I have to admit that I am simple-minded at times. I also have male friends who seem to be simple-minded.

Ladies, ladies: would you really feel better if men were super complicated, or would you not, then, complain how men are waaaay way too complicated and wish that they were simpler? I say count your blessings!

BroadwayBK: I know how you feel. I seriously started thinking it's me too. Here's one for the books: I was dating a guy until about a month ago when I found out he had been seeing someone else at the same time (I found out via the internet). He told me he had broken it off with her once we started getting more involved and begged for me to reconsider. It ended with me leaving his apartment at 4am sobbing. I ran into him last week and he not only HIGH FIVED me as a means of saying hello . . . but introduced me to the girl he was with whom I recognized as the other woman. And, then he casually walked away. UNBELIEVABLE. Guys here are so so very messed up. Not even a sister can help with that one -- and he has two sisters, in fact.

@JenMac that's horrible!! what a complete jerk...I think perhaps guys in NYC are spoiled for choice what with the gaggle of young, pretty young things arriving here from not only other parts of the country but from all over the world ..no wonder they seem to be constantly looking for the next best thing..

@DBlack Who is complaining! Although I do sometimes wish my boy toy had a better understanding of me as a woman...

@JenMac That's horrible! I honestly don't think being around so many women makes guys act like jerks, though, I just think that some people are selfish and refused to acknowledge that other people have feelings. There are guys out there who don't act like that... was this guy really young? The whole high five thing is awful. You should've spit in his eye.

@JenMac I have had a similar experience...sans high five and running into the guy later. The one good thing I find about dating guys who live outside your neighborhood is that when it's over you are unlikely to ever see them again unless you do it on purpose. But I've been with the guy who tries to hide the fact that he's sleeping around - my winning fellow was dating about three other gals, but I was the only one he was "serious about," according to him. That was the guy who inspired me to seek out acupuncture. Which I still have yet to do.

My last tryst involved a guy who seemed really interested and then just stopped calling for no apparent reason without informing me that he was uninterested or whatever. I mean, even seventh graders break things off with each other! I saw him at a party afterwards and he ignored me...completely. After a few drinks I accosted him, and he said that he didn't call because he was "depressed" and that he thought that "I would understand," which was why he never called apparently. Um. What? I ain't psychic, fool! That guy was more pathetic than anything, even if he was aspiring to be a jerk.

That was crazy, @BroadwayBK! Men can be such jerks! As for acupuncture - I know a few guys I wouldn't mind sticking needles into...

@BroadwayBK yet another immature jerk in the city!! what is with these guys.??? on second thoughts this behavior is certainly not unique to NYC ..I think it is just a man thing...idiots..

@uptowngirl I think you're right - it's just a man thing. Men seem to be the same wherever you go...

@BroadwayBK Where ARE you meeting these dudes? Maybe you need to try out a new neighborhood. Or a new matchmaker? But I guess a lot of dating is the hit-or-miss thing.

@Everybody: Excuse me. But I am a man and am insulted that you think all men are jerks. I happen to be a very kind and generous man. Ask my girlfriend. She will tell you I am a unique person. I hate most men in this city because they do act like jerks. I told one guy he was a jerk and he just took a sip of his beer and told me to "f____ off."

@JenMac don't abdicate your spot..just look fabulous and appear happy so if run into the jerk he realizes that you are doing very well without him and there are many other fish in the sea .. so as to speak...

No one said all guys are jerks, @hhusted.

And @JenMac, I am with uptowngirl: just make sure you look irresistible and don't let that guy bother you! You deserve to be treated so much better, and he is not worth worrying about.

@NeverSleeps: Well let me relate some comments above:

Uptowngirl said: "...I think it is just a man thing...idiots."

Ajadedidealist: "Men can be such jerks! "

NeverSleeps: "... it's just a man thing. Men seem to be the same wherever you go..."

I take these comments to mean a man or all men. If you guys did not mean all men, you would have said such words as "some men can be jerks," or "I know some men who are idiots," or "It seems I know a number of men who act like idiots." By using the word "some" gives the connotation that it is only a select few men who you have problems with.

All I am asking is that you be considerate of the men in this forum. You wouldn't want us men to start coming down on you ladies and calling you such words as "obnoxious," "self-centered," "obstinate," or simply "pain in the you-know-whats." Because that is exactly what many women I have met acted like. I do not associate you with those women so I don't talk that way or say those things to you, because I respect the women in this forum.

Hope you get my point. Thank you.

Wow... you are way overreacting. And sorry but it's not like men are some mistreated minority. If you think that women can be jerks, I'm not going to take offense to it. Because they can be. Duh. Man and women can be jerks in different ways and I don't think anyone with any sense would contest that. No one said all men are jerks, but if you insist on taking those comments that way, be my guest.

Sorry to jump into your East Coast fish bowl for a minute, but my experience has been that immaturity in the male species is pretty bi-costal. Not all men etc. etc. But enough that sometimes its hard to see the trees for the forest.

Of course there are some good ones (so I'm told) although around here about half of these play for the other team (and half of the ones that don't are thinking about it).

Okay, back to SF--sorry to interrupt.

Ha ha...yeah!

I'm certainly not going to apologize for calling a jerk a jerk. Can't do it. And I don't think that all guys are jerks, and never said they were - obviously I just haven't found one that isn't jerk-y just yet. If anyone wants to talk about a horrible woman they dated, please feel free.

@JenMac Thank goodness you are keeping your spot - it would so not be worth losing it. You'll see, in a while it won't even make a difference to you whether you run into the guy or not. After all, you are most def his loss and not the other way around.

@hhusted Definitely overreacting, man. The women were just venting about past frustrations with specific men, which is normal and harmless, dude.

I could definitely tell one or two woman-devil stories, but I'm feeling shy right about now...

@DBlack go on tell us..we are well aware of the fact that women can be she-devils too..
@ hhusted why are you taking this personally? its not as if we are attacking you that you feel that you have to champion the rights of all mankind.. we know there are some gems out there but it so happens that one has to kiss a few frogs before we land a prince..

We didn't mean to offend you personally, @hhusted. Clearly we don't ACTUALLY think all men are jerks - I for one am in a very happy relationship, for starters, and I believe uptowngirl is married...

Yeah, I really like boys and like even the relationships that didn't work out all that well, but I' think I've been lucky in that the relationship failures I've had came from flaws on both sides, or just weren't meant to be. I can't say I've ever been with such a rotten apple that I want to hate on boys altogether.

Even when it's all their fault.

@ajadedidealist Thank you! well said!

@Uraniumfish Amen!

Love IS hard to find. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.

@Uraniumfish Hopefully no one ever comes across that rotten of an apple!

Indeed - as bad as men are, women are often worse. ;-). For every bad guy I've dated that made me hate men, I've had a toxic frenemy that made me hate women! So I'm pretty much an equal opportunity hater...

@ajadedidealist and JenMac I can't agree more! I have had my fair share of women friendships that have gone sour for so many reasons.. glad to know I am not the only such case.. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me..

@Everybody: I have had people call me jerk or nerd when I was younger and took exception to it. However, now I am taking exception to it because I am most sensitive right now. The reason is because I was diagnosed with cancer and am facing surgery for it. So please excuse my use of words and attitude.

@Uraniumfish: I agree women are complicated. I live with one.

@hhusted Sorry to hear the news...I wish you a speedy recovery!

@hhusted I am sorry to hear that.. hope you are well soon..

@AlifKhan and @Uptowngirl: Thanks. My surgery will be Monday, May 24th. It is one day surgery. I'll be in recovery for 3 weeks. I'll still be here working in the forum after Wednesday.

@hhusted all the very best.

@Uptowngirl: Thanks. Much appreciated. Keep the comments rolling in my absence. :)